Ask Voldemort
by HopelessBlonde and XoXMioneXoX
Summary: Ever wonder wonder what Voldemort would say to some questions? Read to find out! R&R!


Ask Voldemort  
  
By: XoXMioneXoX and HopelessBlonde  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own it, never have, never will, get over it.  
  
A/N: Thanks everyone who gave us a question and to Blondie who thought up most of the responses!  
Dear Lord Voldemort,  
  
Why do I feel sick?  
  
Leah's Mawmaw  
  
Dear Leah's Mawmaw  
  
Maybe it's because you're a muggle.  
  
Voldemort  
  
Dear Lord Voldemort,  
  
Am I going to get rich?  
  
Yours truly, Kara's Mawmaw  
  
Dear Kara's Mawmaw,  
  
Not off me you aren't! What is it with you muggles writing these pathetic questions! You'd best leave me alone before I get you with the killing curse *whispering Avada Kedavra*.  
  
An enraged Lord Voldemort  
  
Dear Lord Voldemort,  
  
I dunno what to say.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Lauren  
  
Dear Lauren,  
  
STUPID MUGGLE! Stop wasting my time! You're on my list! Oops no wait, you're already on it!  
  
A very enraged,  
  
Lord Voldemort  
  
Dear Lord Voldie,  
  
Who are you?  
  
Yours truly, Michael  
Dear Michael,  
You stupid Mudblood you should know who I am, I am greatest Wizard ALIVE and you are on my list for not knowing who I am.  
Lord Voldemort  
Dear Voldie,  
  
What exactly do you have against Harry Potter and muggle-borns? I just don't get it...  
  
A Very Confused Kara  
Dear Kara,  
I am against Harry Potter because he wont return my love owls over the summer but that's getting off topic and I am against muggle-borns because my father was one and he turned out gay and started a relationship with Snape *Sniffle* well that's off topic as well.  
Voldemort  
Dear Voldie-poo,  
Hey what's this I have heard that you're gay and do you know if Malfoy's single? I think he is sexy!  
The not so innocent one  
  
Leah  
Dear The not so innocent one,  
Look I'm not gay I just write love letters to Harry because well I just can and I'm not sure about Malfoy he is very important to me and I do not with to loose him to a WOMAN!  
Swears he's not gay  
  
Lord Voldemort  
Dear Master,  
When will you come get me?  
The basilisk  
Basilisk,  
I'm very busy with taking over the world, writing love letters to Potter, making out with Snape, and *cough* umm other stuff  
A very busy Lord  
Dear Voldemort,  
  
You are the coolest person EVER! If I were a wizard, I'd want to be just like you when I grow up. Can you give me your wand, please? If I had a magical wand, then I'd be able to do magic! WHEE!!!  
  
Your Numbero Uno Fan,  
  
Harry Potter *not the real one*  
  
Dear Not Real Harry Potter,  
  
I'm so happy that you are my number 1 fan, and I would let you borrow my wand, but it is currently stuck somewhere, but I shall not say where. PEACE OUT! *whatever that means*  
  
The Cool and Hip Voldie  
  
Dear Tom,  
YOU FU*KING BA**ARD  
  
HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME TO DIE ALONG WITH THAT OVER GROWN STICK WITH FANGS! THEN ALMOST KILL HARRY ILL KILL YOU I SWEAR I WILL  
The cute and innocent  
  
Ginny  
Dear Ginny,  
I had a lot on my mind  
Voldemort  
Dear Master,  
When will you get us out of Azkaban?  
The people in Azkaban  
My Followers,  
I will when I feel like it  
Your master  
Dear Voldemort,  
  
What is your favorite color?  
  
-Headmistress Minerva McGonagall  
  
Dear Minerva,  
  
I love the color black! BLACK RULES! Though, I do prefer a nice lilac, pink isn't too shabby either.  
  
Lord Voldemort  
  
Dear Voldie-poo,  
  
When are you coming over?  
  
-Suga Bear (Fluffy the Dog)  
  
Fluffy,  
  
7:00 tonight, Fluff, and wear the thong.  
  
Voldie-poo  
  
Dear Dark Lord,  
  
Got Milk?  
  
Yours truly,  
  
The Milk Man  
  
Mr. Milk Man,  
  
WHAT IS THIS MILK THAT YOU SPEAK OF!? Stupid muggles...  
  
A Very Confused,  
  
Voldemort  
  
Yo Evil Dude,  
Yo, Yo, Yo, whats up my dawg I got plenty of ammo if you wanna kill that fuckin potter chick also you owe me for ur last stoning party ight peace out!  
I'm so fuckin stoned,  
  
Cross Country Pimp  
Cross Country Pimp that is stoned,  
What is this ammo you speak of and your right potter is a chick I would love to get in his pants *sighs* I wonder what size he wears oh well and I owe you nothing you stupid muggle!  
The greatest wizard ever!  
Evil Dude,  
Man don't you be runnin your mouth to me I am THE PIMP you just a dead person that's like fuckin dead im gettin all muh brothas and we are gonna drive by your crib and we gonna fuckin kill you deader then all ready are u fucka  
The Greatest Muggle in the WORLD!!!  
*Drive By Music Playing*  
  
*shots being fired*  
*girly screams from the wizards*  
Tom M. Riddle  
  
???? - 2003  
  
Died in a drive by in the Wizard world *????* may he forever be tormented.  
Accomplishments:  
  
Finally Died!  
A/N: AND THAT is how we killed Voldemort *both bow*  
Mione: Do you have more questions? Even though he's dead, we'll still have him answer. Leave a review with your letter, and we'll put the answers up soon! Thanks!  
  
Blondie: ROCK AND ROLL BABY!  
  
Mione: Stop worrying about that so we can finish the interviews! 


End file.
